21+ Signs of Low Self-Esteem in a Man | How to Boost Your Self-Esteem
It’s not easy to be a man. We’re constantly under pressure to be strong and emotionless, to never show weakness. But sometimes, in the privacy of our own minds, we all let our guard down and admit that we’re struggling.
That we don’t feel good enough about ourselves. And that’s okay. It’s important to recognize the signs of low self-esteem in men so that we can start working on improving our confidence.
What is low self-esteem?
Most people have heard of the term self-esteem, but many do not know what it actually means. Self-esteem is simply how you feel about yourself. It is important to have healthy self-esteem because it impacts everything you do in life.
Low self-esteem can be defined as having a generally negative or poor opinion of oneself. Individuals with low self-esteem often doubt their abilities and feel that they are not good enough.
This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, and worthlessness. Low self-esteem can have a number of negative consequences, such as depression, anxiety, and social isolation. It can also lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse and eating disorders.
If left untreated, low self-esteem can have a significant impact on an individual’s quality of life.
21+ Potential Signs of Low Self-esteem in a Man
1. He is overly critical of himself.
2. He has difficulty accepting compliments from others.
3. He puts himself down frequently.
4. He has a negative outlook on life.
5. He is always comparing himself to others and coming up short.
6. He feels like he is not good enough or doesn’t deserve good things in life.
7. He has trouble making decisions.
8. He avoids taking risks or trying new things for fear of failure.
9. He is afraid to put himself out there and be vulnerable.
10. He is quick to anger or lashes out when he feels threatened or attacked.
11. He has difficulty handling criticism from others and often takes it personally.
12. He withdraws from social situations or stops participating in activities he once enjoyed because he doesn’t feel like he fits in or belongs.
13. He feels like an outsider looking in on life and that everyone else seems to have it figured out except for him.
14 . He frequently feels sad, anxious, or empty inside but doesn’t know why and can’t seem to shake it off no matter what he does.
15 . He numbs himself with alcohol, drugs, food, sex, work, shopping, gambling, or other unhealthy coping mechanisms to avoid dealing with his pain.
16 . He has a history of failed relationships or problems sustaining healthy friendships.
17 . He struggles with chronic health problems that are exacerbated by stress.
18 . He has problems at work such as being passed over for promotions or receiving negative performance reviews.
19 . He experiences financial difficulties due to poor money management skills or “bad luck.”
20 . He feels like his life is one big disappointment and that he’s just going through the motions day after day.
21. He has “low confidence” body language.
22. He is overly jealous of others.
Understand that if you have these characteristics, you don’t necessarily have low self-esteem. These are just common tendencies you can watch out for. Having low self-esteem is something you can improve on and being aware of it can be the first step to changing your life.
Common causes of low self-esteem
1. Negative self-talk
One of the primary causes of low self-esteem is negative self-talk. This is when an individual speaks to themselves in a negative way, such as calling themselves “stupid” or “useless”. Negative self-talk can be very harmful as it can lead to individuals believing that they are unworthy or incapable.
Another common cause of low self-esteem is perfectionism. This is when individuals set unrealistic standards for themselves and feel like they are constantly falling short. Perfectionism can lead to feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness.
Comparison is another major cause of low self-esteem. This is when individuals compare themselves to others, whether it be in terms of looks, achievements, or accomplishments. Commonly compare themselves to people they see on social media. Comparison can lead to feelings of inferiority and insecurity.
4. Lack of assertiveness
Another common cause of low self-esteem is a lack of assertiveness. This is when individuals do not speak up for themselves or do not express their needs and wants. A lack of assertiveness can lead to feelings of powerlessness and insignificance.
5. Lack of accomplishment
Low self-esteem can also be caused by a lack of accomplishment. This is when individuals feel like they have not achieved anything significant or worthwhile. A lack of accomplishment can lead to feelings of emptiness and purposelessness.
6. Lack of validation
Many of us crave validation from others as a way to feel good about ourselves. We might seek out compliments from friends or family, or look for signs that we are doing a good job at work or in school.
When we don’t receive the validation we are looking for, it can lead to low self-esteem. A lack of validation can lead to feeling unworthy, undeserving, and unlovable.
7. Being teased or bullied by others
A common cause of low self-esteem can be from being teased or bullied in the past by others. When people are constantly made to feel bad about themselves, they start to believe that they are unworthy and unlovable. This can lead to a lifetime of low self-esteem and self-doubt.
8. Experiencing trauma or abuse
Experiencing trauma or abuse is another major cause of low self-esteem. When people are subjected to physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, it can damage their sense of self-worth and make them feel worthless and undeserving of love and respect. This can be caused by family, “friends”, or past relationships.
9. Having a physical disability or deformity
Having a physical disability or deformity can also lead to low self-esteem. People who have visible disabilities or deformities often suffer from discrimination and exclusion, which can damage their self-image and make them feel worthless and unlovable.
10. Low self-confidence
When someone has low self-confidence, this usually means they are insecure about themselves in some way. This lack of confidence can lead to low self-esteem because it reinforces the belief that you are not worthy of good things.
Ultimately, low self-confidence can have a negative impact on your life in many ways, so it’s important to work on building yourself up.
What are some ways to improve our self-esteem?
1. Get to Know Yourself
The first step to improving your self-esteem is to get to know yourself. This means understanding your strengths and weaknesses and accepting yourself for who you are. Once you have a clear understanding of who you are, you can start working on improving the areas of your life that you are unhappy with and begin believing in yourself.
2. Set Realistic Goals
One of the quickest ways to improve your self-esteem is to set realistic goals for yourself. When you set goals that are impossible to achieve, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. However, when you set goals that are achievable, you will feel a sense of accomplishment when you reach them. This will help to boost your self-esteem.
3. Be mindful of your thoughts
Your self-esteem is greatly influenced by your thoughts. If you constantly focus on negative thoughts, it will be difficult to improve your self-esteem. However, if you focus on positive thoughts, it will be easier to feel good about yourself.
Pay attention to the thoughts that go through your head on a daily basis, and make an effort to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
4. Take care of yourself
One of the best ways to improve your self-esteem is to take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself by eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep. When you take care of yourself physically, it will be easier to feel good about yourself mentally and emotionally.
5. Do things that make you happy
Another great way to improve your self-esteem is to do things that make you happy. This can be anything from spending time with friends and family, pursuing a hobby, or taking a vacation. When you do things that make you happy, it will be easier to feel good about yourself.
6. Accept compliments graciously
It can be easy to brush off compliments when you don’t feel good about yourself. However, accepting compliments is a great way to improve your self-esteem. When someone pays you a compliment, take it in and let it boost your confidence levels.
7. Be assertive
Assertiveness is key when it comes to improving your self-esteem. This means standing up for yourself and speaking up when necessary. When you are assertive, people will respect you more and this will help you to feel good about yourself.
8. Dress for success
The clothes that we wear can have a big impact on how we feel about ourselves. When we dress in clothes that make us look and feel our best, it is easier to exude confidence and feel good about ourselves.
Make sure that your wardrobe consists of clothing that makes you feel comfortable and confident in your own skin.
9. Start taking action on your goals
One of the common causes of low self-esteem in men is a lack of accomplishment. If we want to achieve things in life, we must start to take action. It can take some time to accomplish goals, but regardless of how long it takes, it should be pursued. When you start taking action, you’ll begin to see the opportunities available and the positive aspects of your life.
As you progress, everything around you begins to get better. Personally, I’ve found much value in the pursuit and continue to have better control over my anxiety and negative mental thoughts.
The way I see it, would I rather suffer mentally and come out with nothing by doing nothing? Or suffer from doing and putting in work and coming out with a better life? At the end of the day, you are the one to choose your suffering.
Self-esteem is crucial for a happy and fulfilling life. If you think you might have low self-esteem, don’t worry- there are ways to improve! The most important thing is to be patient with yourself and to show yourself some love.
You are not your mistakes, you are not your perceived shortcomings or failures – you are so much more than that. And once you start to see yourself through that lens, it becomes easier and easier to love yourself – imperfections and all.
So take a deep breath, let go of what’s weighing you down and give yourself the love and compassion that you deserve. Because when you do, anything is possible. Remember that you are worth it, and believe in yourself!